The New Deputy Undersecretary of Cheesesteaks

It has just come to my attention that I am the new Deputy Undersecretary of Cheesesteaks. This was, I believe, a "midnight appointment" by the Bush administration. I only became aware of my new responsibilities upon waking up this morning.

In an effort to ensure transparency, I am going to answer the many questions you and others probably have.

Are you the new Deputy Undersecretary of Cheesesteaks?
Yes, I believe I am.

What are your official powers?
My department, if I am correct, has the power to set and safeguard cheesesteak standards.

What are your credentials?
Four thousand hours logged at the business end of a cheesesteak.

Do you have a budget?
I found two twenties in my wallet this morning that I don't remember having yesterday.

What exactly will you do on a daily basis?
This is quite clear to me: order and eat different kinds of cheesesteaks.

Will you be getting letterhead?
I plan to request grease-resistant letterhead.

Any recommendations you can make public?
Toasted bread and full customization options. That's all I can say at this early stage. Thank you.